I'm currently writing this on my phone having found myself locked outside my Aunts house with her return seeming indefinite. Apologies in advance for grammatical and/or spelling mistakes.
So Twitter informed me three points regarding Tottenham today, with the greatest news coming in the latter end of the day. Bale has signed on. No, not in the typical Liverpudlian sense of the word, but a contract extension tying him down for another 4 years. Or, in today's terms, ensuring we get a bigger transfer fee when he gets itchy feet after another disappointing end to next season.
See what I did there, I'm trying to jinx it.
But how Gareth gave us a tease. After publicly declaring he'd assess his options should we not make the Champions League, it's good to see that this appeared genuine and, clearly, staying at Spurs was his preferred option. What a nice man he is (until he leaves).
This extension can go someway to declaring intent to any other targets that we don't intend to bend over and revert to a 6th place side but we'll seek to keep our best players and build on last years unfortunate 4th place finish; Luka, by the day, seemingly becoming the anomaly here.
"All your best players will leave" they said. The ignorant masses that couldn't look past a newspaper article or see the fine details behind the Redknapp dismissal. I guess they're true. You can't replace the looks that Niko brought to our bench, or the style and sophistication that Charlie brought whilst making a toddler looking like a world champion sprinter.
If Jenas and Pienaar left we'd face relegation.
I assume this is the player revolt that the masses were laughing and chatting about at our expense because, minus Luka, I struggle to pick out any of our first XI that are scratching at the exit door because godfather Arry left.
Luckily for us, I hear Levy's a Spurs fan.